Have you ever heard these ideas in the Christian community? “A beauty to rescue…” “Fight for the beauty!” “Rescue the girl!” If you’ve been around the evangelical circles over the last 15 years or so now, I’m sure you have.
John Eldridge one of my favorite authors regarding masculinity, femininity, marriage and identity in Christ has been prolific in his writings upon such ideas. I’m super grateful for him, his writings and presence in the body of Christ.
Wild at Heart
Waking the Dead
Fathered by God
Above is a short list of books he’s written. Wild at Heart is a personal favorite. Men, get this book and read it, great stuff!
I love the idea behind rescuing the beauty. I think it is right on and so needed, especially today. Men need to step up into their God given roles to lead and guide families. The biggest thing they can do to accomplish this end, starts with them on their knees. Prayer.
Men, we need to be praying for the women in our lives. We need to mature in the things of God and His Word. We need to be worshipers in Spirit and Truth. This is how we fight for their freedom, identity, family relationships, healing of the brokenness they’ve encountered growing up and all the other stuff. Loving the women in our lives as Christ would have us to is how we “fight for them.” The battle is constant. The enemy – Satan is continually looking for whom he shall steal from, kill and devour like a lion.
Whether the women in our lives know it or not, admit it or not, they need you. They need men of God contending for their hearts, minds, emotions, relationships, and for them to simply mature in their relationship to Jesus. Men, it’s time to create a refuge, a safe place for women to develop relationship – without alterior motives of what you can get from them. We need to look at women as sisters in the Lord, not as objects (as the world’s message way too often communicates.)
With that being said, ladies, what it means for a man to “fight for the damsel,” does not mean that he “rescues” her from her family and steals her away with him, leaving her with little or no connection to them. It does not mean that she starts a fight with someone to see if he will literally fight for her because she’s acting foolish (though he will probably still rescue her.) It does not mean that she manipulate the relationship, breaking up with him and seeing if he starts buying flowers, chocolates and begs her to take him back – thus “fighting for her and proving his love.” It does not mean if she likes him and wants to be in a relationship with him that she either treat him really really nicely (beyond normalcy for a short period of time) or if she doesn’t get what she wants that she stops being nice to him, being his friend, etc. Just because she may desire relationship with him (or not) please do not treat him more or less than anything but as a brother in Christ. If she isn’t getting what she wants out of the relationship, communicate it, rather than stop being his friend leaving him clueless.
Too often I see or hear about these kind of behaviors or attitudes, it’s unfortunate. Such behavior is simply immature, manipulative and completely unnecessary. If a woman is behaving this way towards a mature man who knows the Lord, he will see through this fairly easily. His response will be to pray for her. He will pray that she matures. He will pray that she sees the deception behind manipulative, controlling behavior patterns and will not bow to such attitudes. He will continue to love her, let her make choices for herself and maintain healthy boundaries in the relationship that are proper, good and fitting for her and him.
Please don’t mistake his response or what some may perceive as a lack of response as though he’s “not fighting for her, doesn’t really love her, or isn’t truly committed.” He may be waiting for his prayers to be answered. He may simply be waiting for her to mature and grow up a little, while demonstrating love as well as he can with where they both are at currently in this thing called life.
There are two sides to every relationship. Chances are there’s issues coming from both parties in any given story. In the realm of relationships guys have much to grow in and improve upon. Ladies, pray for men. Men need you and your prayers, even though sometimes they don’t admit it. Men may not want to be rescued, but they do need your prayers.
The truth is men and women are on the same team. We are not each other’s enemy. Satan is the enemy and we need to work together – united through the Holy Spirit. Thank you ladies and gentlemen for praying for and forgiving each other with your whole heart. What the world needs now is real love expressing itself through the body of Christ (the Church). They will know us by our agape love…
Father in heaven, help your children understand their roles. Let women be celebrated for their unique qualities. Let men be celebrated for their unique qualities. Let there be peace between the genders. Let Your desire for male and female relationships come forth in the earth. Bring healing to men and women in the body of Christ. Bring an increase of maturity in Christ for both men and women right now. Lord there’s such an attack on relationship, marriage, and family in this hour. I ask that you bring restoration, reconciliation and healing to male, female relationships everywhere. Let men rise up spiritually to rightly follow you Jesus and lead the family well. We need your help Holy Spirit. Father, let women be cared for, protected, healed, and grow in maturity of your Word, character and deed. Let there be light in this arena and expose all darkness. Let Your glory cover the earth. In Y’shua’s name. Thank You. Amen.
Men fight for, rescue and lead the beauty, as Jesus would!